May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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