If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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