Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
