I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
