My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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