i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
