sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
