In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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