why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My vagina is officially offended.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
