I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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