so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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