Someone shit on the floor
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
