Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
