You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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