It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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