Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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