Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
