I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize