I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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