Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
