Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
