i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
