I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
