apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Screwed.edu
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
