people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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