so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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