Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
