dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
