a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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