Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
