So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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