I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
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