You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
