Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
