You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
