It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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