Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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