Your dad touched me again.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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