Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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