So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
