just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
