the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
