Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
