i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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