We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
