Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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