I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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