I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
