Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
