one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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