spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
