He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
