So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
