My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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