i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
