Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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