I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
