Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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