One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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