Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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