And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
