I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
