To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
