so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize