Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
